Showing category "News..." (Show all posts)

Manitoba Premier Declares "Climate Emergency" Ahead of Fall Election

Posted by Ken Hiebert on Sunday, August 18, 2019, In : News... 

In what is sure to become the most aggressive campaign promise to date, Premier Brian Pallister has declared war on Manitoba's ruthless winter weather. In a hastily prepared press conference last Thursday, Pallister stated that by, "declaring a climate emergency, Winnipeg City Council is recognizing the magnitude of the challenge we face in surviving climate change."
The Premier unveiled his plan to fight Winter at City Hall amid the 29° heat that's become all too prevalent this summer. 

Ac...

Continue reading ...
 

Underwear Lobbyists Advocate for Endangered Species Classification

Posted by Ken Hiebert on Sunday, April 28, 2019, In : News... 
 

The Canadian Underwear Preservation Society (CUPS) has stepped up its efforts to have underwear added to the endangered species list.
John Long, a spokesperson for the CUPS chapter in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan says, "The science is settled on this.  We've been monitoring the size of gotch since the mid 1900's and we've noticed that underwear has been steadily decreasing in size since the start of the industrial revolution.  It's obvious to us that the main reason we're in this mess is be...

Continue reading ...
 

New Study Urges Communities to Curb Coffee Consumption

Posted by Ken Hiebert on Saturday, April 27, 2019, In : News... 

The Canadian Press · Posted: Apr 26, 2019 12:03 PM ET | Last Updated: 3 hours ago

 

A new study released this week claims the continued rise in caffeine consumption will spell certain disaster for the human race.  The study, published by the Inter-municipal Panel on Coffee Consumption (IPCC) alleges that as coffee consumption rises in North America,  people are less able to fully relax and recuperate from the stresses of living in a fast-paced consumer oriented society.  The study also reports...

Continue reading ...
 

BREAKING!!! NEW STUDY SHOWS HEADLINES WITH CAPITALS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS MAINLY BS!!!

Posted by Ken Hiebert on Wednesday, December 7, 2016, In : News... 



A new study conducted by an independent research group from Canada has concluded that news articles using mainly capital letters and exclamation points in the headline are generally full of BS.

"We have found a direct correlation between the amount of capital letters and exclamation points in a headline, and the total amount of BS in the news article itself", says chief researcher Kenneth Hiebert.

The team also discovered that the sites on which these articles normally appear are no...


Continue reading ...
 
« Back to posts
 

About Me


I'm a guitar instructor in a small town. I love teaching and I love playing music. I also love doing things that have nothing to do with music... or teaching... or teaching music.

181 9th Street, Morden, Manitoba R6M 1E5, CA | 204-822-9352